Moonlight Anita's Thaughts

                  Ani's Song   6th entry      The screen went black and disappeared i fell to my knees hugging little Ani so tightly broken hearted sobbing deeply all i could say was my dear sweet little one I'm so sorry this has happened to us. know this sweet Ani I am here with you now  i will never let you go again together we take this journey together we stand strong through this. I dried her tears kissed her forehead and said to her now we must go for our path ahead of us is long little one.     We start down this grey road the 2 of us hand in hand both terrified and frightened of what lies ahead of us. Every ounce of me wanted to stop turn and run but knew  I couldn't abandon little Ani again I had to continue not just for her but for me as well toughen up Anita your stronger then this you need to continue your journey your healing I said to myself as we started back down the road.   ...

Ani's Song           5th entry     Time to continue where I left off as much as it pains me to write this part of my journey to finding me. It something I need to do though as its the only way to heal to get back to being whole again to being Anita, as I struggle with this I take a deep breath if you only knew how hard this is for me at this given moment. Here we go welcome to the horror  of this i am about to share     Upstairs i went to place my books in my room to be trapped in what was once  my safe space by he that shall not be named closing the door behind him as he looking at me as if i was a piece of meat and he was starving the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as fear filled every inch of me what was about to happen to her the 12 year old girl my God.  Stop no please words screamed went unheard as she was throne on the bed fighting a fight her weak young self could not win over powered  tears falling mou...

  Ani's  Song 4th entry Hand in hand as much we feared to continue our journey it was our destiny what was needed to do in order to find what was lost to find Me  Up ahead i can see what I feared most the next road block the next demon we must slay my heart pounding harder with each step i move closer what demons are waiting for me Upon reaching the block in the road there on the screen we see a beautiful girl age 12 sitting in the front row of a classroom smart as a whip she answers the teacher question correctly she enjoyed school, never even imagine the horror that was about to unleash on this day  Ani your wanted in the office  the teacher said here a hall pass so down to the office she goes the secretary hands he a sign out sheet you need to take this to the rest of your classes have the teachers sign it and give you your assignments for the day your being checked out of school for the rest of the day you have an appointment as excited as any kid her age wo...

Ani's Song * 3rd entry Together hand in hand little Ani and I start our decent down the dark grey road with the fear of the unknown pounding in our hearts we walked a short distance till we come upon a road block out of nowhere a screen appeared and a movie began to play A beautiful girl crying her age around 7 but this time she was not alone my eyes filled with tears as little Ani squeezed my hand tightly for we both new the horror that was about to play for the girl was us the story was ours we were being forced to watch let me touch let me see Its okay dont be afraid its the way brothers and sisters that love eachother are supposed to be no stop that hurts her crys went unheard for they continued doctors orders this is how you get examed  playing doctor they said I hugged little ani tight in my arms her head burried in my chest so she couldnt see I got you little one i am keeping you safe we had to face this to over come the first hint of damage that was done the 7 year old me c...

Ani's song *  2nd entry Knelt down infront of a younger me while drying the tears from her eyes I ask her dear sweet ani what are you doing here alone why are you crying and her reply hurt my heart  the pain was all to familliar in her soft voice she asked can you help me can you tell me when did you loose me?  I did not know how to answer for I was a lost for words because I dint have one what do I say I can not let her down again.I did what in my heart felt like it was the only thing to do I had to be truthful it was the only thing to do  I took a deep breath trying to clear the knot in my throat for this was the hardest thing ever having to do  now as Im sitting on the floor with her in my lap I hold her tight with love as i looked into her eyes I finally gave my reply Ani my sweet angel truthfully with a heavy heart I must say I honestly dont know where when or how I managed to loose you because Fact of the matter is I have lost me to I dont know the woman A...

Ani's Song *  1st entry Waking up alone  for the first time in years i feel lost and alone as i go to the bathroom for my normal routine to brush my teeth what do i see when i look into the mirror a reflection of a woman I do not recognize a woman unknown to me this woman staring back at me she is broken and lost she needs help she is empty as i continue to look at her the more i realize that the woman I am looking at is a shell of the woman that used to be me! I stare into her eyes the door way to with in her soul I travel inside darkness starts to suround me the further I enter  into the emptiness i find myself in a dark room I hear a faint sound of a childs whimper so i walk towards the sounds for the childs voice gets louder i can her her crying needing help the closer i got i can see im am being lead to an alley there i see in the center of the road  a small little girl   I felt the urge to run to her i felt her sorrow i felt her pain most of all I fel...